Wedding

The best day ever.

Our AppyCouple wedding website

Our Wedding Pinterest Board

Our Honeyfund


Our Wedding Day
0052kris_ross
Bridal Veil: Mia Bella Couture
Bridesmaids: Vow to Be Chic
Cake: VG Donuts
DJ: Elite British DJ (Mick)
Rings: Brilliant Diamonds – Tacori (Ariel)
Wedding Planner: I do weddings (Melissa)
First Dance choreography:  Wedding Dance San Diego (Liz O’Grady)
Photo: True Photography (Billy)
Video: Campbellicious (KC)
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You’ve lost that loving feeling…

  
One of the best times and best nights captured on vid (thank you so much @zeekachu !). When @calfanz put in a special request to congratulate me and my 🐻 on our engagement. The timing, crew, and love was incredible! Special thanks to @zeekachu @calfanz @ross.c.77 ❤️ #lovingfeeling #topgun #duelingpianos 

Engagement Weekend

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Ross set the alarm early (5:30a) and was really eager to get the day started.  He told me to sleep in a little bit so he could get the car packed (what a sweetheart!).  So, I snoozed until 6am when I got up and got ready and went downstairs for an already hot cup of coffee waiting for me (with Stevia and cinnamon of course!).

We jumped into the car and started our drive up to Santa Barbara.  Ross had this Saturday all planned out.  We luckily had a 3day weekend and were absolutely going to take full advantage of our time off!  Earlier in the week, I had told him no funny business for Valentine’s Day.  It’s one of the “holidays” I dread… for 2 reasons: 1) it’s incredibly over-commercialized and beats fear into men to woo their significant others.  Boo Hallmark holiday! 2) It makes me sad bc my dad used to give me a single stem rose from our rose bush in front of our Abilene house and tell me I was beautiful and his lil girl.

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So, we’re driving along and we’re listening to the radio and there was a Bruno Mars song that came on.  Ross wondered how he came up with that name Bruno Mars.  And then he joked and said we were going to name our first born Biff Jupiter.  We both busted out laughing! (That man brings a smile and laughter to me always!).  Well, around 10am, we get to our first destination in Santa Barbara… the botanical garden.  But first, we had a little snack from the cooler that Ross packed — guac (my fave!), chips, and an ice cold Cali Creamin’ (fave!).  Say no more, this man knows me to a T!  After a snack, we enter the grounds and tour the garden.  They have a beautiful redwoods section (did he know that?).  We had talked about going up to Nor Cal to do some hiking amongst the redwoods in the Redwood National Park — but this would do bc it was so close to home!  What a creative and wonderful idea!  They also had a Japanese tea ceremony that we watched.  Even though we were in Japan for two weeks, we didn’t get a chance to see one!

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After the hike, we headed to the Mission in Santa Barbara to check out some history.  It was a gorgeous area with a beautiful vast lawn area to layout and enjoy the Cali sun.  After our own walking tour of the mission, we picked out a spot on the lawn and laid out a yummy picnic that Ross had gathered up and packed into the cooler.  Some bbq chicken, roasted beets, humus, veggies, and guac and an ice cold Allagash Curieux was heaven!

After lunch, we packed up and headed out to a winery that came highly recommended from his friend Jason, who is a sommalier.  In fact, he was showing us his awesome skills down at some wineries in Valle de Guadalupe (Mexico).  We did a tasting and quite honestly, I loved almost every single one we tried (and that’s rare for me!).

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Now we were starting to get a lil hungry again..so we decided to hit up the famous La Super-Rica Taqueria.  It was a delightful treat of amazing and authentic Mexican food.  We overstuffed ourselves, but it was worth it. 🙂

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So after being ridiculously full, we needed to walk. And where better to walk than to a brewery?  In fact, Ross researched and found out that Telegraph Brewing Co. specializes in Belgians – one of our fave types of beers!  We opted for the tasters and definitely realized we had to take some growlers home!

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Then we headed down to the wharf area.  It was starting to get late (4:30p) and I wanted to get checked in so we could walk out to the pier and watch the sunset.  So, we did just that.  It was a beautiful evening — people were out and having a great time.  The surf was big and we watched the surfers for awhile…Ross was teaching me all kinds of things about that surf spot and the waves.  (I love this man!). While we were watching the surfers, Ross got his foot pooped on by a big ol fat albatross sitting on top of a light post.  He was at least 3 feet away, but the splat from his poo was so massive that it sprayed Ross’ foot and flip flop.  🙂  We walked a bit along the boardwalk/sidewalk.  Santa Barbara is an incredibly stunning place!!

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Lastly, it was time for dinner.  We loved The Stonehouse when we went there the first time [After only 1 month of dating, we took a road trip to Santa Barbara and Ross booked this restaurant.  We had such a great time and dining experience…and after we ate, we walked around the grounds and came upon an archway that was beautiful. We both had a bit of an emotional and just really magical feeling there!].  I was ecstatic that we could get reservations for  dinner on Valentine’s weekend (I figured it would all be booked out!).  We purposefully got there an hour early (although our Uber driver really had a tough time finding the place, despite Google Maps) and wanted to walk around the grounds.  I suggest some champagne since we could walk around the gardens with alcohol.  So, we ordered up our bevies and then took a beautiful walk along the property.  It was beautifully lit with tasteful dim lights, tree lights, and little pops of red denoting V Day.  A powerful Santa Ana was raging that day — despite it being chilly in the mountains, the wind was warm and forceful.  We finally get to a lil garden terrace area with small wooden seating benches with a pergola-type overhead decor.  We were looking out into the night with the lights and the garden itself…. when Ross starts talking to me about our relationship.  The rest is history — as much as I want to say I remember what he said initially… all I can remember is that he started to tear up and get emotional.  I started to wipe his joyful tears.  His love was so strong and it engulfed me completely.  I was surprised, but I knew this day was coming.  He is the only man I can imagine spending the rest of my life with in complete happiness, honesty, love, and friendship.  He got down on one knee…and asked me the question every girl wants to be asked.  Will you marry me?  My answer: Yes, yes, yes, a million times over.  I would’ve waited an entire lifetime for you.  We kissed and held each other for a quick minute before he slipped a beautiful ring on my finger.  It was beautiful.  Ginormous!!  Classy, elegant.  He was the man I had dreamed of and he was offering his heart, love, and devotion.  I am a freakin’ lucky girl!

After our ooooo’s and aaaaaaaah’s with the ring (the sparkle was crazy brilliant even in the dark night!), I asked him a million questions on how he hid it from me and where and how my mom and aunt were in on it. Sneaky lil devil!  We headed off to dinner and when we got seated, there were a dozen red roses in a vase at our table.  Initially, I thought it was part of the VDay dinner decor, but then I looked around and our table was the only one.  He is such a thoughtful man!

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Slideshow from engagement weekend

Relationship Counseling

Has anyone ever tried this?

Relationship counseling (not including psychiatric/mental health counseling).

But before I dive into this topic — I came a across an article from Thought Catalog: How to set relationship standards.

The older I get, it seems that relationships get more complex. I’m not sure if people are just more set in their ways or maybe if it’s my own internal struggles/thoughts/vulnerabilities that lead me to wonder if relationships are worth it?  I have a fantastic group of friends all of whom have different interests.  It’s rare for me to pursue a relationship out of loneliness. Other than wanting to start a family and build the next chapter of my life, I often wonder: Is it worth the struggles?  More and more articles are talking about delayed marriage and childbirth.

Examples:

Seeing articles like this is both encouraging and discouraging.  Yes, I can definitely relate to both sides of the coin.  But the real question to ask: What works for me?

Mark Manson: Why some dreams should not be pursued

No relationship is perfect…and that probably stems from the fact that no individuals are perfect.  Put two different individuals together in a busy world with stresses and then some… well, I can see why the divorce rate is so high.  But what happened to morals and believing in the sanctity of marriage? Are spoken vows on the wedding day just for show?

Yet, I want to believe that marriage is as good and wholesome and loving as I think it is.  I don’t believe a lifelong partnership such as marriage is a fairy tale.  Indeed, what I hear from my friends and family is that MARRIAGE is work — but isn’t that true for anything of WORTH?  Why do we allow ourselves to just be passive with marriage?  Do we allow ourselves to be complacent in pursuing a stalled career or obtaining financial independence?  I hope not.

Relationship Counseling Online

Relationship advice from professionals

Dec 26, 2014

Curiosity has always been a driving factor for my learning.  Lately, I’ve been curious about what makes relationships thrive.   Around the holidays, people always seem so happy and connected and together.  This led me to lookup various TED talks (thanks Google search) on the subject matter.  I’m intrigued by others’ relationships — and not just romantically.  A friend of mine shared some interesting pearls on the progression from dating, committed relationship, marriage, to kids and the dynamics/changes that occur through each of these phases.  I just want to know what other people’s experiences are through this journey.  What my search revealed…

The homework:

  1. The Secret to Desire in a Long-term Relationship
  2. Love Isn’t All You Need: 3 Relationship Building Reads
  3. How We Love
    1. Can you use algorithms to find love?
    2. What happens to our brain when we’re in love
    3. Are we asking too much of our spouses?
    4. What makes siblings bond?
    5. A father-daughter dance – in prison?
  4. Talks That Just Might Save Your Relationship
    1. Love, you’re doing it all wrong
    2. The power of vulnerability
    3. How to speak so that people want to listen
    4. Why we love, why we cheat
    5. Dare to disagree
    6. What you don’t know about marriage
  5. In The Mood For Love
    1. The brain in love
    2. Love letters to strangers
    3. Love, no matter what
    4. Love is a loaded pistol
    5. The myth of the gay agenda
    6. Aliens, love — where are they?
    7. How the internet enables intimacy
    8. For men: understanding her desires
  6. Sex: Can We Talk?
    1. 10 things you didn’t know about orgasm
    2. It’s time for “the talk”
    3. Selling condoms in the Congo
    4. Sex, drugs, and HIV
    5. Religions and babies
    6. The beautiful tricks of flowers
    7. A little-told talk of sex and sensuality

Where to Find Love


4 Most Common Relationship Problems and How to Fix Them

  1. The 4 things that kill relationships: Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling.
  2. The 3 things that prevent them: Know your partner, respond positively to “bids”, and admire your partner.
  3. The best predictor of relationship success is how you and your partner tell your “story of us.”
  4. The beginning of the conversation is crucial. Negativity compounds. Keep a cool head and resist emotional inertia.

How Texting Changes From Dating to Marriage


Time: How to Have a Great Relationship – 5 New Secrets From Research

  1. According to your own brain, love is right up there with cocaine and cash. And it can last if you treat it right.
  2. Want to be attractive? Make yourself look good, emphasize similarities, and let the person know you’re picky — but that you do like them.
  3. A great first date is something that creates excitement and energy. Share things about yourself and respond positively when your partner does.
  4. Relationships often fail because of individual issues, not because of a bad match. Resolve difficulties as soon as you can; they don’t strengthen relationships, they cripple them.
  5. Improve your relationship by dealing with your personal issues, doing exciting things together, celebrating your partner’s successes and showing gratitude.

My Thoughts:

  1. There’s a lot of meat here.  Very insightful.  I will probably listen to these several times… not just today but throughout the years.  I love her definition and timing of foreplay.  Waxing and waning desire — it’s not spontaneous…but erotic couples know how to resurrect this desire.  
  2. This summarizes three books that I’m intrigued to pickup and read.  
  3. Several talks on Love
    1. A numbers game.  It’s up to us to make a relationship — it takes work.  Technology cannot solve relationships.  It takes human capital…. human work.
    2. Couples’ and sex therapist.  See #1.
    3. Non-sexual, non-romantic love.  Family love.  Parents and favoritism.  I wish someone would go into more depth between spouses and siblings.  I had a great talk with another friend of mine who has a twin sibling.  This has got to be one of the closest bonds ever known.  Yet, he was telling me the difficulty of introducing someone to his sister and how that can sometimes add jealousy, loss of priority, etc. between the siblings.  I don’t think one needs to make a black and white choice — I think siblings and spouses can co-exist…in fact, they should.  Perhaps a better working is the prioritization of spouse to sibling.  I don’t know what that entails…I have no siblings.  However, I have not had any problems introducing any of my significant others to my family without worry of priorities or jealousy.  I think it’s a natural progression in life to introduce a SO to your family and be able to make that individual a priority without having massive panic attacks or arguments.  Yet, I’m still trying to wrap my head around why there would be such sibling rivalry without introduction of SOs.  Does anyone know of a study on this?
    4. 43 years of marriage!  Whoa!  The important roles of fathers in daughters’ lives.
  4. Talks That Just Might Save Your Relationship
    1. Honesty Authenticity Integrity Love.  
    2. This one was humorous!!  Find good in everything!  Men doing chores around the house –> women desire them more –> men become nicer.  Positive good cycle.  

At least this was a good start… there’s so much to learn.  I’ve digested this small piece of information, and I have come to the conclusion that relationships need positivity, communication, consideration, honesty, dependence, independence, desire, and cooperation/teamwork.  But, these were things I knew.  From this information, I think both people involved have to be open and receptive to the other’s needs.  How does the positivity loop get started?  A kind gesture, a sweet compliment, a flirtatious look, a warm touch… all of these are positive vibes to make your partner feel loved.  This in turn generates positive feelings and prompts positive outward energy of love.  

So, why are so many people unhappy if these elements seem so simple?

This book was really helpful for us and had terrific pointers in how people relate to one another or accept/want love: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

Relationship advice from professionals #relationships #marriage #family

Curiosity has always been a driving factor for my learning.  Lately, I’ve been curious about what makes relationships thrive.   Around the holidays, people always seem so happy and connected and together.  This led me to lookup various TED talks (thanks Google search) on the subject matter.  I’m intrigued by others’ relationships — and not just romantically.  A friend of mine shared some interesting pearls on the progression from dating, committed relationship, marriage, to kids and the dynamics/changes that occur through each of these phases.  I just want to know what other people’s experiences are through this journey.  What my search revealed…

The homework:

  1. The Secret to Desire in a Long-term Relationship
  2. Love Isn’t All You Need: 3 Relationship Building Reads
  3. How We Love
    1. Can you use algorithms to find love?
    2. What happens to our brain when we’re in love
    3. Are we asking too much of our spouses?
    4. What makes siblings bond?
    5. A father-daughter dance – in prison?
  4. Talks That Just Might Save Your Relationship
    1. Love, you’re doing it all wrong
    2. The power of vulnerability
    3. How to speak so that people want to listen
    4. Why we love, why we cheat
    5. Dare to disagree
    6. What you don’t know about marriage
  5. In The Mood For Love
    1. The brain in love
    2. Love letters to strangers
    3. Love, no matter what
    4. Love is a loaded pistol
    5. The myth of the gay agenda
    6. Aliens, love — where are they?
    7. How the internet enables intimacy
    8. For men: understanding her desires
  6. Sex: Can We Talk?
    1. 10 things you didn’t know about orgasm
    2. It’s time for “the talk”
    3. Selling condoms in the Congo
    4. Sex, drugs, and HIV
    5. Religions and babies
    6. The beautiful tricks of flowers
    7. A little-told talk of sex and sensuality

Where to Find Love


4 Most Common Relationship Problems and How to Fix Them

  1. The 4 things that kill relationships: Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling.
  2. The 3 things that prevent them: Know your partner, respond positively to “bids”, and admire your partner.
  3. The best predictor of relationship success is how you and your partner tell your “story of us.”
  4. The beginning of the conversation is crucial. Negativity compounds. Keep a cool head and resist emotional inertia.

How Texting Changes From Dating to Marriage


Time: How to Have a Great Relationship – 5 New Secrets From Research

  1. According to your own brain, love is right up there with cocaine and cash. And it can last if you treat it right.
  2. Want to be attractive? Make yourself look good, emphasize similarities, and let the person know you’re picky — but that you do like them.
  3. A great first date is something that creates excitement and energy. Share things about yourself and respond positively when your partner does.
  4. Relationships often fail because of individual issues, not because of a bad match. Resolve difficulties as soon as you can; they don’t strengthen relationships, they cripple them.
  5. Improve your relationship by dealing with your personal issues, doing exciting things together, celebrating your partner’s successes and showing gratitude.

My Thoughts:

  1. There’s a lot of meat here.  Very insightful.  I will probably listen to these several times… not just today but throughout the years.  I love her definition and timing of foreplay.  Waxing and waning desire — it’s not spontaneous…but erotic couples know how to resurrect this desire.  
  2. This summarizes three books that I’m intrigued to pickup and read.  
  3. Several talks on Love
    1. A numbers game.  It’s up to us to make a relationship — it takes work.  Technology cannot solve relationships.  It takes human capital…. human work.
    2. Couples’ and sex therapist.  See #1.
    3. Non-sexual, non-romantic love.  Family love.  Parents and favoritism.  I wish someone would go into more depth between spouses and siblings.  I had a great talk with another friend of mine who has a twin sibling.  This has got to be one of the closest bonds ever known.  Yet, he was telling me the difficulty of introducing someone to his sister and how that can sometimes add jealousy, loss of priority, etc. between the siblings.  I don’t think one needs to make a black and white choice — I think siblings and spouses can co-exist…in fact, they should.  Perhaps a better working is the prioritization of spouse to sibling.  I don’t know what that entails…I have no siblings.  However, I have not had any problems introducing any of my significant others to my family without worry of priorities or jealousy.  I think it’s a natural progression in life to introduce an SO to your family and be able to make that individual a priority without having massive panic attacks or arguments.  Yet, I’m still trying to wrap my head around why there would be such sibling rivalry without introduction of SOs.  Does anyone know of a study on this?
    4. 43 years of marriage!  Whoa!  The important roles of fathers in daughters’ lives.
  4. Talks That Just Might Save Your Relationship
    1. Honesty Authenticity Integrity Love.  
    2. This one was humorous!!  Find good in everything!  Men doing chores around the house –> women desire them more –> men become nicer.  Positive good cycle.  

At least this was a good start… there’s so much to learn.  I’ve digested this small piece of information, and I have come to the conclusion that relationships need positivity, communication, consideration, honesty, dependence, independence, desire, and cooperation/teamwork.  But, these were things I knew.  From this information, I think both people involved have to be open and receptive to the other’s needs.  How does the positivity loop get started?  A kind gesture, a sweet compliment, a flirtatious look, a warm touch… all of these are positive vibes to make your partner feel loved.  This in turn generates positive feelings and prompts positive outward energy of love.  

So, why are so many people unhappy if these elements seem so simple?

Support

I came across an interesting link looking at people’s lives in a 24 hour period: http://money.cnn.com/interactive/pf/24-hours-with-a-kindergarten-teacher/?iid=HP_LN

Yes, she has a busy day.  But the most interesting part of her day to me, is the incredible support and love that her and her husband share.  He is the primary bread winner, yet his love for her and her dedication to her job did not get in the way of his ego and making sure his partner is nurtured and supported.  They have a beautiful understanding of leaning on each other to make it through life.  Unconditional love truly exists.  And she gave a beautiful example.